Finance, Maternity Leave & Why a Coffee Fund Is So Important

Let’s just clear something up before diving into this any further… Saving for maternity leave (or any significant financial disruption) is an overwhelming and near impossible ask at the best of times, within the easiest of surrounding circumstances. So while this post contains some suggestions and personal lessons-learned, please do not in any way add further pressure of comparison or expectation.

We are all doing the best we can, you will be okay, and you can make this work.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s also acknowledge the following.

Should there be a better standard maternity (and paternity) policy from the government across the board? Yes.

Is this likely to change anytime soon? Sadly no, but that doesn’t mean we should stop pushing for progress.

Nonetheless, here we are… So, onward.

Everyone walks into motherhood from a different financial position; Perhaps your employer will top up the government standard, or maybe you freelance for a living and will rely on the statutory baseline and your savings account.

Maybe you’ve lost a steady job during pregnancy (check out @pregnantthenscrewed for advice and support!), or perhaps you’ve been saving up for years and are taking it easier in the lead-up.

Regardless, there are a few points to consider as the due date approaches.

Work out the baby-basics (and have an honest chat with your partner)

You might find yourself knee-deep in research, ordering this-and-that and making all sorts of must-have lists during the countdown.

Do also try to make a budget and keep track of your spending, and (if in the picture) ensure your partner is in the loop on this too.

Expenses go 50/50, and however your household budget is split ensure it feels fair and you aren’t finding yourself exclusively dipping into your own savings to cover baby-buys. Also consider the income balance - if you earn significantly more than your other half for example, a down the middle split wouldn’t necessarily be fair either.

And always be open to hearing each other out.

Sure, they might not always understand why you NEED that specific baby carrier, and you might not always understand why they NEED the pram to have those wheels. But talk about it, and try to accommodate each other and compromise together, not apart.

Set a monthly budget

And split it up; first off, one for the household economy.

And a quick reminder here to anyone feeling guilt around contributions. If you are the SAH parent in those early days/weeks/months/years, you are working 24/7 shifts (while in many cases healing from significant physical trauma) without breaks and holding down a home/raising a human.

Parental leave is not a vacation and any partner who insinuates this because they are still going to work needs to be sat down for a serious reality check.

An equal division isn’t simply that one of you pays and one of you cares, having a baby is far more complicated than that. If one of you does 9-17 outside of the home, consider those your ‘working’ hours for both. The rest is an even split. Sharing the household, emotional and mental load is not only a healthy foundation and excellent way to ensure your partnership can continue to thrive and grow. It’s also an excellent thing for your kid(s) to grow up seeing.

Secondly, create a parental-leave budget where you have a clear overview of what you are contributing, where, and how much you have left-over for other necessities and yourself (see next point). And yes, your partner should do this too. Looking after yourselves and having a little something for just ‘you’ is important.

Keep a separate Coffee / ‘You’ Fund

Never underestimate the importance of having a few extra coins spare to spend on yourself, guilt-free.

It can be something as simple as an extra chocolate bar in the shop, a fancy coffee, maybe that moisturiser you love, or a series-pass on Prime. Whatever your ‘thing’ might be, try to make sure there are you-funds available and allow yourself to indulge without anxiety or guilt.

And no, it does not have to be excessive, but your mental health and well-being is important too.

Also, to be clear. The above should include some alone time to enjoy those treats; never underestimate the importance of a moment to breathe.

Again, there can be a lot of financial guilt associated with maternity leave, especially if you aren’t fortunate enough to run a household where pay-cheques coming in on time isn’t an issue. And that guilt can quickly turn into anxiety, challenge your mental health on all sorts of levels and even give way to bitterness (again, this goes for both parties), so do keep the conversations honest, open and ensure needs are stated where possible.

There is nothing easy about finances or parenthood, and the reality is that financial stress - on top of all the other pressures that first year of brings with it - can hugely impact every aspect of your day - from your relationships to your ability to switch off occasionally and re-group, which in turn makes the vicious cycle feel all the more inescapable.

So, little things, honest chats, coffees. And a day at a time.

xo